Friday morning: Overslept… doh! Make a cuppa. Turn on radio. Trump recommends injecting oneself with disinfectant to cure Covid. He’s probably already done this to himself, which explains so much. This prompts me to wash hands, face and all other body parts that may have been exposed to deadly virus during night sleeping in my own bed.
There goes that early morning beach walk. It’s already 25°C. Too hot. Check email. Website designer wants two more blog pieces and way more images than I actually have, plus all the links to where people can buy my book online. Yet again, I fret over why Amazon has still not uploaded my book even though they’ve had it for twelve whole days since D2D sent it to them. Apple Books have it, so do Barnes & Noble and Angus & Robertson. This worries me so I decide to have another cup of tea and watch TV for a while.
Later that same day: Dug compost into garden bed and planted six flowering plants that will be welcomed by many local bees and butterflies. Having done enough to help save the environment for one day, I write a whole blog on what it is like to self-publish. Soon realise that I’m scaring myself. Obviously this calls for another cup of – maybe coffee, this time. Think about writing more of Chapter Three of my next novel. Pushing myself to write 1000 words a day, minimum. Then realise there have been only two days in the past fortnight when I did that. Depressing. So I eat a Kit-Kat and go for a walk.
Four and a half kilometres later: I can feel the kilos falling away! Begin to make a chicken and veggie curry for dinner and whilst stirring the pot, my brain stirs the plot. Should I kill off the hero’s mother in book two? TBD.
Saturday: Ugh! Watch yet another Book Marketing tutorial on YouTube. Definitely calls for a strong cuppa! Do this, do that, have a website, have a Twitter, have a Facebook, have an Email List, have a Pinterest… Have a large whisky more like! I take the Prime Minister’s advice and go back to bed – the ultimate in self-isolation.
Sunday: Overslept again. BUT, when I started typing, I knocked out 2,500 words which will bring my fortnightly average up very nicely, thank you!
So, today is Mailchimp day. I have to get ready for the onslaught of Likes and Follows and Clicks once my website is up and running. I got the obligatory PO Box (as recommended), which is yet another little bite out of my budget. I don’t want to think about that right now as I’m still deciding whether to rain down a grisly death on hero’s mum in Chapter Four. But vow to do an Excel spreadsheet to see how much I’ve spent so far and estimate what I can afford to spend on advertising – once Amazon finally uploads my book!
As I drift off to sleep, I ponder the grim delights of self-publishing and ask myself why I am putting myself through this hell. Then it hits me. It’s fun. The writing is fun. And I want people to have a good time reading my stuff and get happy. So, I hope they won’t get too attached to the mother, because her future is not looking rosy. Sorry.